When you’re so close…

They say if you are waiting for something good, you can’t wait long enough. I suppose this is true. As with all proverbs, I calibrate it against my past experiences which it applies to. There were times things didn’t turn out the way it should, because I waited too long. What does that teach you? That should accept fate as a predestined drama, with you in the lead?

I like to write my own script, although these are often clashing with others, calling for improvisation and expedience. Yet it leaves me with a feeling of being in control, false or not.

In this case, my waiting has an end result, in no more than 8 days. It feels surreal, knowing that my life will change completely the moment it arrives. I still can’t phantom it. I conjure up images of me with a baby, still not knowing if it’s a boy or girl. Taking him (for the sake of argument) out on strolls in a so far crisp and pristine baby buggy we recently acquired. He’s dressed in the cutest of outfits and he smiles to me when I look down upon him. He’s a model kid of course. Hardly cries and sleeps like a baby. I get my 8 hours of sleep (with the interruption of one feeding), and in the matter of weeks I look great again, in fact better than I did pre-pregnant, now having a personal trainer and a diet that shapes me up in no time.

I realise how I miss it all so desperately, being able to dress up, go out, set silly but to me essential targets for myself. Knowing that I can go for a run any time I want to. Like today, the sun is shining and I just want to run for miles and miles. Put on my iPod filled with house, ambient, trance and some lounge and just run. Running always make me feel free, invincible, with every step I take, feeling the impact of the ground transplanting itself through my body. The best runs are the ones when the pain start kicking in, but yet I don’t give up, forcing myself with every step until the pain finally recedes and is no more. It becomes almost a metaphoric parallel to life. To always fight for what you believe in, and never, never give up! Because your goal is closer than you’d ever imagine.