Typical teenage behaviour?

I am suppose to work on my project and instead I find myself in the midst of a family feud. It starts off with warning bells. Where is Victoria? It is 4 pm and still no sight of my little girl. I call her little although she will be turning 11 in less than two weeks.  And perhaps that is the thing,  I still see her as a young girl when in fact she is rapidly growing up becoming a teenager in body and soul.

I find my phone and I see that there are two missed calls and an sms. All are from Victoria. The text message is brief. Victoria will be playing with a friend of hers. I take a few seconds to digest this information. I search my mind. I have told her she has to get a confirmation of me before going off with anyone, haven’t I? Yes I have, I’m sure of that. And that rather recently. I try to call her numerous times but no reply. So I answer her sms. Simply she does not have permission and need to come home at once.

In less than 2 minutes I have Reinout on Skype. He is seriously pissed, in a way only Reinout can be. I tell him all I know, and we start a search for her friend’s number as Victoria isn’t answering our calls. We call every friend of hers at school but no one of her classmates has the phone number. It appears to be unlisted.

Eventually Reinout asks his colleague to call from his mobile and she picks up.  Victoria is obviously screening her calls. Five minutes later she is home. Doom settles over the bedroom. If it wasn’t for the bright sunshine that is filtering through the curtains, the room would be painted in black metaphorically speaking.

A rather tough conversation ensues. I let Reinout do most of the talking. Again my tiredness has hit me, and my brain activity is coming to a halt. I concentrate on Sebastian who I am feeding. Victoria doesn’t say much. She listens but I am not sure she really understands. We have had these conversations numerous times before. The bottom-line is responsibility and respect. Perhaps it’s typical teenage behaviour but it’s still completely unacceptable to us. After many warnings and little change the consequences are clear, she is grounded for two weeks, with no TV. Her computer and phone are confiscated. It’s serious business this time. Homework every day between 4 and 6 pm. Bedtime at 8 pm.

In the past I felt we were somewhat harsh on her. But perhaps I was so set in my ways, having lost perspective over the situation. I carry a lot of the blame. I was not there enough for her instead focusing on work and projects and some other immediate priorities. I can see the result of this now. It takes time to shift such a situation. And it takes a lot of dedication. Right now I’m just tired, feeling empty and drained of energy. I have nothing more to say really…