Personal dilemma
Posted by: fracas on July 21 @ 8:57 pm
I write…then delete, and write again. My thoughts are not coming out well on print. So I will write it plainly….on the topic of Karma, on right and wrong, …what is right and what is not? Don’t give me the shit that there is no right and there is no wrong. Even someone as uneducated as I knows of this notion, and can agree to it on some abstract meta universal level.
No I talk daily life, friendships, family relations. And so how does one resolve relationship issues that are eating up ones very own personal borders? Personal integrity. Am I fighting a loosing battle? And is this the underlying cause to my suppressed anger? Questions, questions…I need an answer to…eventually…
(1 votes, average: 5 out of 5)
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There is right, and there is wrong. And pretty much everyone knows the difference in their heart, and they pretty much know absolutely what is right, and what is wrong.
You can only resolve relationship issues by protecting your own personal integrity, and by insisting on respect from the other(s) involved in the issues. This doesn’t mean that the resolution will come without pain, but it is more painful (and destructive) in the long run NOT to resolve things. And if it is the end of the relationship (because the other(s) is/are so self-involved that they won’t change and give you true respect (not lip service) — they will never be able to give what they do not have), then so be it.
Do whatever it takes, and leave the anger behind (not the same as repressing). The best way to leave the anger behind is to forgive the other(s), accept that you will never get a better outcome, and move on. This is very important. Hanging onto anger will destroy you, body and soul. If you keep your anger, Satan will make sure you choke on it. Give your anger to God, and He will give you rest.
Peace and all good to you.
reply to this commentSusanne, please delete and disregard my comment above. This is really none of my business, and giving advice “in the blind” (particularly suggesting that “if it’s the end of the relationship … so be it”) was really a bad idea. Looking at previous blog entries here, I now have more of a sense of what this is about, and my specific suggestion about resolution is simply inappropriate — on first reading I thought you were talking about an associate, now I realize you may be talking about your husband. Can’t just walk out of a marriage like you can walk out of a simple friendship, and I would never suggest that. Marriages are for life, like children.
Find someone there to talk to. The only part of my previous post worth taking as advice is the last paragraph, about forgiving.
Peace and all good to you.
reply to this commentYour Message@Bill:
Dear Bill, I appreciate your comments…both of them. Trust me, I always look at things in perspective and I am aware that some entries are not always written so openly so people might not understand them entirely. So many people have asked me why I write the way I do, so openly. But to me, it’s a creative process. Like someone painting or writing poems. If people think it’s some kind of kiss and tell, they really don’t get it. I love my husband and my family so much. And that is also why some things happening hurts so much. When I wish that my own intelligence and beauty would somehow be valued more, or perhaps more accurately just handled with a little bit of extra care.
I am sensitive, always been, and certain events in my life and surrounding I take very personal. This is where the writing comes in. After such a posting I kind of feel cleansed. It’s like it’s some kind of catharsis. And after this, I go to my husband and give him a kiss. Because after all he makes me feel so good. And that’s the beauty of it all I suppose. And so perhaps there is still no right or wrong, and no beginning or end…. Love, Susanne
reply to this commentThanks.
As for beauty and intelligence … 40 years ago, my wife was the most beautiful and intelligent woman I had ever met — so I married her (with her cooperation, of course). 40 years later, she is still the most beautiful and intelligent woman I have ever known. I’m sure that other people only see the ravages that time, child-bearing, and questionable decisions about diet have worked on both of us, and wonder, “What did she/he ever see in him/her?”
But as the Little Prince says, “On ne voit bien qu’avec le cœur. L’essentiel est invisible pour les yeux.”
May it be so with you in 40 years.
reply to this commentYour Message@Bill:
Sorry again — that’s “as the fox said to the Little Prince: “On ne voit bien qu’avec le cœur. L’essentiel est invisible pour les yeux.”
Now I’m finished talking to myself.
reply to this commentA story:
Before my wife and I married, each of us bought the other’s wedding band. We were 1500 miles apart (I was in the Navy, she was at University). We each had something engraved inside the other’s wedding band, although neither of us told the other that we had put a little surprise in the ring.
The day we married, we discovered that we had each had the same phrase engraved in our rings. It’s been one key to our staying married for 40 years.
Oh. You want to know what our rings say?
“Plus qu’hier moins que demain.”
Forever is only the beginning of eternity.
reply to this commentYour Message@Bill:
reply to this commentThat captures it all. I hope that in 40 years from now we will both look back at similar stories of life. Bill, I already feel a lot better. Thank you.