Me, myself and I

I wanted to continue writing about my Copenhagen trip but my attention got diverted elsewhere. To where you draw a line on what is considered self autonomy in a relationship and what is not. Should all decisions be made jointly and if not which decisions can safely be considered your own to make?

I’ve always needed a certain self autonomy. If that was compromised I started to feel trapped, hunted down for things I believed was my right, and my right alone to decide upon. The decisions to be responsible for thoughts and actions concerning myself. How I look, how I dress, how I talk, the friends I have (although input is considered)…

As a woman, one thing that is of quite a significant importance, is my body. I want to decide (to a reasonable extent, as long as it’s not unhealthy) on my weight, if I train or not, the type of contraception I use (in discussion with my partner) to even more important decisions such as the right to decide to terminate a pregnancy, or having cosmetic surgery. I feel it’s my absolute right as a woman to to be responsible and decide upon such matters. Anything else would make me feel controlled to the extent that the body and soul that was given to me, is mine no longer. I cannot function like that, which is the point when I start kicking and screaming, like the immature child I in fact am. And still I will not go back on this crucial point. I have scrutinized the other positions and arguments, considering (and agreeing to) the fact that in a relationship you are two, and yet my position remains. If it in the end proves the point that I am an inflexible, selfish, stubborn, childish and utterly self centred prick, then that is what I am. And I am afraid that I  shall remain so for the foreseeable future and beyond.