It’s not Dutch you know…
I am so happy it’s Friday. I’m looking forward to a weekend of nothing but utter bliss. It’s been an intensive week, at least for a woman with a 2 month old son. But things are also starting to shape up. My routine is finally in place. Early mornings around 6 am, 1 hour at the gym at 7 and work from 10 to 6 pm. I hail routine. Without it I’m lost, as I simply lose the overview of life and work.
Yesterday I had a woman from the baby-clinic over to help me with my breastfeeding routine. She looked in horror when I told her of my schedule. “It’s not Dutch you know. You should be taking your rest, and enjoy spending time with your son.” It was well meant advice, but yet something I find hard to apply to my life. Or perhaps more accurately, it’s not something I would even consider. The life of a Dutch mother, with all due respect, doesn’t strike me as particularly appealing. After 7 years of bringing Victoria to school I know their reality all too well. Early mornings with kids breakfasts, biking to school and hanging around at the school yard after the kids have been dropped off, for a smoke and a chat. Picking up the kids at noon to prepare for lunch at home (yes Dutch schools are not equipped with canteens as their Scandinavian equivalents). At 3 pm the activities starts.
The other day I called the childcare organisation that administers creches and afterschool care. I was told that there is a 3-5 year waiting list for a place. This ended our conversation abruptly. There was nothing more to say really. Apparently I’m not expected to work for this duration. One often hears that women choose not to work or only work part time. In fact reality is very different. They don’t choose, they just can’t. Because the opportunity is not given to them. There is a great deal of difference between the two. Unfortunately one the Dutch government is doing very little about.
But I shall not succumb to peer pressure. Fuck the expectations, the advice and the rigid structure that society imposes. I will go my own way anyway…
that is so true! one other aspect of NL reality which always made me feel uneasy but happy I was childless while in NL, was the cost of daycare!!! with certain mothers preffering (for finacial reasons) to work just 3-4 days in order to save 1 or 2 days of daycare costs….it’s unbelievable that a woman’s daily earning can be comparable to what she’d need to spend on care of her child….- an example of those ‘choices’ not to work/work less…
reply to this commentwhen I would complain about it openly, I’d often hear a rerott that Dutch men’s salaries are built high enough to cover for all family’s needs….The fact that a woman might want to work regardless of how much her husband earns I guess is totally besides the point;)
Your Message@Eliku:
reply to this commentHi Eliku, yes I’ve heard those arguments too. I must say I don’t buy it though.