Graffiti stained walls

For the first time, in days, if not evening weeks I feel like blogging. I’m going through a blog dip. It’s rather obvious, my postings are becoming shorter and less interesting. I’ve been contemplating why this is, and have come to the following conclusion: Firstly, it’s my busy schedule. Although Reinout still is of the belief that I am living the life of a luxury housewife, lounging in my bed all day and going shopping with my friends, I am of an entirely different opinion. OnlineSalsa.com has taken on a life of its own and every spare hour and minute I can find, I use to optimize, market, promote and plan. My evenings are getting rather late as a result, 1…2 in the morning is not unusual. On weekdays I get up at 6.30 am, so with little sleep I get less creative, which is my enemy number one for blogging.

Secondly, a lot of really personal things are going on and whereas I felt completely free to blog about this in the past I don’t feel that way any longer. This is really hampering me, because my blog is my creative outlet, my reason, my voice. If it becomes a diary of daily events devoid of thoughts and feelings, I don’t see the point of writing at all.

So last night before I went to bed, I decided to have a answer by the morning. I was either going to stop with public blogging or go on, but if so keep to the honest truth and feelings. I slept deep, waking up at 12.30 in the afternoon. My dream was of contrasts. I dreamt about a new home (I am actively pursuing one in France) which was a home that had featured in my search late last night. I shall have to speak to Reinout about this one. But I also dreamt that I was walking the streets of an area in decline and degeneration. An area where muggings and robbery were common practice and the only colour present stemmed from graffiti covered concrete walls. I’m still not sure what I was doing there, but I was a writer or reporter of some sort and I believe I was investigating something in the area.

I’m certain my dream showed me where I want to be, my future home, a family home in France; my passion, which is writing which leads me to the roads less travelled (the dilapidated and seedy estate). And so I’ve decided to continue blogging. Perhaps I can’t do it every day, but I will try. And most importantly being honest and truthful to myself. About my dreams, my fears, my past and future.