Fracas Noir || Susanne Waldau - te Brake I swear to tell the truth as I know it…

Days are hot, nights are humid. Everything comes to a standstill. Trains are late, service is going down an ever slippery slope. And my own commitments are given way for excuses. They rarely hold up.
Last night…
I lay awake in bed, tossing and turning. I read a book about the fortunes of one Grace Hammer. It [...]

I wake up early from Sebastian crying. I give him a bottle and walk into the toilet to drink some water. The heat is stifling. Outside, the sky is losing the purple hue of dawn and the first rays of the blazing sun is piercing the window. I close my eyes, desperately trying to ward [...]

I’m sitting in the couch marginally interested in what’s going on between Holland and Uruguay. But as it’s a semi-final game I force myself to watch. If this was Sweden playing it would be another ball game all-together. Figure of speech anyways. Because Sweden is not in the semi finals. They are not even in [...]

Dreaming vividly…..a reoccurring dream with my daughter in it. The circumstances change, the subject or the main plot not. I dream of neglecting her, in some cases I am mean and vile. I wake up and turn on the shower. I let hundreds of single droplets fall on back and chest, carefully avoiding my hair. [...]

I woke up early this morning; 3 minutes before scheduled alarm time at 6.40. The sun was blending with the white blinds that furnish our bedroom windows. Yesterday felt far away and I was soon reminded that it was Friday, which admittedly set the spirit in high altitudes.
I dressed quickly and headed for the gym. [...]

It hasn’t probably escaped the few still popping by my blog, that I haven’t been very active lately. The reasons are many, some I feel happy to disclose, others not. Suffice to say, the last few weeks I didn’t feel really brilliant. I slipped into something of a summer depression painting my whole world black. [...]

I find it hard writing on a regular basis. Time is so short, and even if I try to optimize and cut corners those strategies starts to look like futile attempts solving something much more inherent. Yesterday was such a day, waking up at 8 (I overslept…mental note to buy a new alarm clock this [...]

Champion’s League (and certainly the Finals) gives me a perfect excuse to nip over to the local salsa hangout on Haarlem Station, which arranges salsa parties in the weekend. I texted my friend W, but as she was at a party I had no choice but to go on my own. I [...]

I read not too long ago that the effect of a holiday only lasts 2-3 days. And I can feel it, as soon as Monday hits, the brain (albeit slowly) is getting back into a sluggish action. My long, Sleeping-beauty-like nocturnal bed rests are a mere memory. Instead I struggle to keep myself on an [...]

A typical morning in the Waldau- te Brake household…