Bit sized portions

Posted by: fracas on June 29 @ 11:02 pm

I’m on the train. It’s hot, stifling, and my top bares mark of thin lines of sweat. The day is digested in bit sized portions, events are mixed and matched in a seemingly random order. It’s one of those days, when I bare my emotions on the sleeve. There’s anger, hurt, frustrations…very little else really. Self contempt, yes absolutely. I catch a glimpse of myself in a reflecting train window. I automatically pull in my stomach and straighten myself a little, in an immediate response to the distorted image. I don’t like what I see, but at the same time I feel indifferent. Perhaps this is the onset of a downhill slope to middle age. Perhaps my peak has already been, and I will now wither away, shrivel until I become a dried immortelle, an ever lasting flower, devoid of both its fragrance and beauty.

I’m hit by an oppressive heat as I board the train. I look for a place, but everyone has a bag or a jacket placed next to them. I continue walking down the isle until I find a semi-free spot. The woman next to it, picks up the magazine that lays on the vacant space. I nod and smile. Inside of me, I feel relieved. Relieved to be left alone, in a corner without much notice. And so I perfectly blend in…

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  1. On Jun. 29 2009 @ 11:19 pm reinout said

    good to see you are blogging again! keep going. i love it.
    xxx

    reply to this comment
  2. On Jun. 29 2009 @ 11:35 pm fracas said

    Your Message@reinout:
    have to write…I feel opressed otherwise, like I can’t breath….feels better now…the air is clean again….xxx

    reply to this comment
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